'en panne' on the Vosges

Locks.
93 over a distance of 122km. 47 up to the summit of the canal des Vosges and 46 back down. At the final Moselle lock we were, once again, given a 'telecommande' (remote control)  to zap the upcoming canal's automatic lock mechanisms. You point the zapper at a sign that says 'ici, hier, here'. Beside the sign is a post with a yellow pyramid shaped light. With luck (and a strong zapper battery) the pyramid will begin to flash and a green light will illuminate alongside the red light at the lock to indicate it's preparing for you. After an interval of time (varying) the gates open, the red light goes out leaving the green and in you go. In an ideal world that is. The canal des Vosges, whilst pretty, is not that ideal world.
The first lock sets the tone for the whole trip - it doesn't work. It is 'en panne'.
 The predecessor of the zapper was, of course, the real, live lock keeper (eclusier) who lived in a cottage beside the lock which he maintained  and worked manually. Some of the cottages are still occuppied, now and again by a waterways employee, but many are abandonned and crumbling into a sad state of disrepair. The locks themselves have new automatically operated hydraulic gates but the chamber walls are sometimes in poor condition with large holes and leaks. Earlier this year, you may remember, we had to rethink our route when this canal was closed for some weeks due to a lock wall collapse. A lock very much 'en panne'. So, what do you do when faced with the 2 red lights of despair which indicate that the lock has thrown in its hand?
 

Sigh. Swear. Stop. In any order. Then someone with a modicum of French struggles valiantly ashore. I say struggles because the banks are often broken down and carpeted in nettles, it's too shallow to get close to them and the someone in question is the one with the gammy knee. Fortunately the waterways authorities have had the foresight to equip every lock with a phone which connects directly to their control centre. If it's not lunch time you'll usually get a fairly prompt answer and then it's just a case of telling them the lock number, the name of your boat and if you can, what the problem is. They will say something along the lines of 'a man will come' and he will. Within a short time (if it's not lunch time) a little white van (sometimes 2) will come speeding into view along the tow path and a lock keeper will quickly reset the controls and chat about the weather while he sees you safely through and waves you off with a cheery (or optimistic) 'bon journee'. You both know there's a pretty good chance you'll meet up again though.

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