Beat the Shrug

I've mentioned the Gallic Shrug before and the last few days have given me the opportunity to see it in action more than I'd like. There are those who deny that it exists but as someone whose French speaking skills are limited and who is looking for every body language cue I can get to help me understand what's going on, I recognise the shrug when I see it - no matter how subtle. It can range from the obvious (and unusual) raising of the shoulders and lifting of the hands to the slightest tremor of one eyebrow accompanied by the ghost of a smile. The meaning is always the same though and if you're on the recieving end you may as well save your breath (and sanity) and give up there and then. The best equivalent I can think of is 'computer says no'.

Perhaps at this point I should outline our plan for the last week.
Take the boat to Migennes.
Moor at boatyard.
Clean and pack up.
Winterise boat.
Have boat craned out of the water.
Inspect hull and bowthruster and see what needs to be attended to next spring.
Take train from Migennes to Paris.
Take train from Paris to Amsterdam.
Night out and hotel in Amsterdam.
Get to Amsterdam airport.
Fly to Singapore.
2 nights Singapore.
Home

So we leave Auxerre and manage through the 8 locks to Migennes without drama despite not having any bow thruster.


Problem 1.  The only person at the boatyard able to operate the crane has gone on holiday and won't be back until after we've have flown to Australia. What's to be done?

Shrug.

So we continue up through another lock onto the canal du bourgogne into Migennes itself, plug into the electricity and spend our last few days there packing up the boat as best we can and arrange to take the boat back down through the lock the day before we catch our train to Paris.

Problem 2.
I have booked our train tickets over the internet using our one remaining back up credit card (since our usual credit card's been cancelled). They have to be picked up at the station but there's a problem with the card ( we've never used it before) and no we can't have the tickets. No we can't cancel the booking. No we can't book another seat. What's to be done?

Shrug.

Problem 3.
It's the day before we need to go to Paris. We need to get the boat down early through the lock to the boatyard where we've still got  several big jobs to do to finish winterising her. Then  we'll  just have tie her up and leave her and hope for the best. But, there's a swimming race on and so the keeper shuts the lock from 10 until 12. Ok, we'll come at 12 then. No, it's my lunch time from 12 'til 1 you'll have to wait.
You couldn't perhaps have your lunch while the lock's shut?


Shrug.

Problem 5.
Gare de Nord Paris. We need to sort out our ticket from Paris to Amsterdam. 30 ticket windows. 28 have a notice saying 'ferme' (shut). We join a long queue. One of the two windows deals with customers fairly quickly. At the other a man tries vainly to get his ticket sorted out. We watch him for 45 minutes as we wait in line. I could have told him after 5 minutes that he might as well give up. That s the moment I spotted the first shrug.  Three soldiers are patrolling armed with machine guns because there's a terror alert. They ignore the arguments and actual fistfights breaking out in ticket line as people are missing trains and others attempt to jump the queue to the one open window - it's probably a daily occurrence. Eventually we get to the head of the queue. Our train will soon be departing.The ticket man tells us there's nothing he can do to sort out our booking and I'm noticing the telltale pre-shrug signs (there's a whole list of those).  I frantically blurt out that I don't want to cause him any trouble and please can I just pay for another ticket?
Pause.
No shrug!!!
He asks for the passport of the credit card holder. Quick calculation - British or Australian? Who do they like better? Decide to go with the Aussie.
 
He slowly looks through the passport and sternly at us and then says that for this time he can help but next time we'd better get it right!!! A couple of taps of his keyboard later the computer says yes and spits out the tickets.
Bon Voyages!